Stop making me want to cry.

It must be time to get messy.

Roles reversed. It’s good to have the upper hand.

I could destroy his relationship with a slip of the tongue and yet he doesn’t keep his distance like lesser men would. For this reason, and the fact that I have no motive at all to break these hearts, his secret is in safe hands.

Good Guy Greg.

Has a girlfriend, cheats on her with you while blindingly drunk. Agrees to forget the whole thing and move on. Still remains as friendly toward you as before. Not awkward in the slightest.

You are admirably wonderful, sir.

New Years Eve. I go out with the intention of casually bumping into you somewhere. There’s no sign of you however, which is fine. Good, actually. Meet my childhood friend and one time summer fling instead. He’s still cute, adorable. My best friend agrees. Flirty flirty all night. Go back to his friend’s with him, only to be cockblocked by his drunken, dying mate. Thanks.

Stay the night, not as bad as I’d feared. Pretty fun. Develop an interest in our host. Good music taste, creative, intelligent. Virgin.

Is it wrong to keep flirting like this? I just want to do nasty things to him, in preparation for many nasty things to come. And he will come.

It would appear that I’m only really attracted to your physical attributes. So, that’s good.

It’s good that I never went out tonight, because he’s probably not even there. Even if he is, it’s still good that I am not.

Next week.

There were not words to describe how angry I was for no good reason.

All he was doing was cheering up his friend. Fair enough. The fact that his friend was a girl set me off, then the lengths he went to. All completely innocent. And I’m so angry.

I haven’t been this angry in such a long time, just sad. I needed to break something, so I slammed the keyboard and only succeeded in hurting myself. I’m trying to channel my anger into my work, but it’s difficult when my mind is always on him.

I had no idea how jealousy could affect me. Up until now I’ve been able to hold it back. Maybe because I’m alone now, it’s all coming out.

I hope I see him tomorrow, but I don’t know what I’ll do. I’ll either drop it, kiss him back, go home with again.

Or I’ll get mad. Hurt him, but not emotionally. He doesn’t care anymore, I don’t think. Woman, hold me back.

Or I could ignore him/it/everything, give him the steely cold glare through my long eyelashes, throw fleeting uncaring glances, walk away when/if he comes near, sway in my skin tight jeans, flirt with the other guy in front of him. But it’ll be hard, especially with jager and vodka involved. Or perhaps not. I think this is my best approach. The passive aggressive seductress.

Maybe I should just sleep with the other guy..?

Oh, but how I still love him.

I don’t care that you were a bit of a dick today, get over here and fuck me.